Idle musings about love and all that…

It is pointless to say you’ll let someone walk away if your intention is to follow after them. Let people walk. Learn to let go.

The moment you have to make a conscious effort to care; it is an indication that you really don’t care. Caring should be effortless, the moment it requires exertion – it becomes a sham.

Emotions are never obligatory so I wonder why everyone thinks they ‘deserve’ to be loved.

All the people I know who’ve been in love could never quite explain what exactly made them love that specific person. I have concluded love is one of those random things that happen for no particular reason.

When someone says they love you the reasons don’t matter because you assume you’re entitled to their love. But when they say they no longer love you; no reason will satisfy you.

Everyone who gets dumped is greatly offended by it because they took the love as a due and now consider the affection to be something owed to them by the person who now withholds it.

I think our memories should be so sacrosanct that the useless things and the irrelevant people in our past fail to qualify for admission.

Forgetting is good, it creates room for the things and the people worth remembering.

Doing something stupid for a great reason does not change the fact that it is a stupid thing to do.

You grow wiser the day you fail at something you were confident you would succeed at… you grow humbler too.

If you ever think you don’t know what you want in life; find the dream you’re scared to share – because that is exactly the thing you want!

The things we regret say something important about the content of our character. Regrets mean we know we could have done better.

I think that marriage is the best compliment you can pay to someone and divorce – well divorce is merely the withdrawal of that compliment.

...the beauty of love is like the beauty of nature - it happens effortlessly

 

*Copyright 2012

All my Quotes are original. Please acknowledge this website when or if you decide to use them: www.itsdeltasays.wordpress.com or ‘Like’ the Blog’s page titled ItsDelta’s Blog on Facebook.

 

 

Those “how did I get here” thoughts

How far have you come from where you once were?

I have grown reluctant to answer the question, “so where do you come from” because I am so far from my beginning that the story of my journey feels fake even to myself.

If I can’t believe I have made it this far; how can anyone else? Knowing dreams come true has taught me to be cautious about what I dream.

 People can give us their approval and they can also withdraw it. But they can never give us substance – that we cultivate on our own.

 I no longer take offence at people who give me the head-to-toe dubious look and ask ‘is this really you?’ because that’s what I’m wondering too.

 We should be afraid of ourselves.Considering what we’re up against just to get through each day – we must be pretty resilient. Freakishly so.

Trained from birth to greet people on my knees, I have chosen to face life standing up.

 Sometimes God blesses us so much that we have to make a conscious effort to live worthy of those privileges. We forfeit our right to live recklessly.

Every blessing comes with a sense of a debt incurred…the more blessed you are; the more you owe to God, to family, to friends and even to foes.

 I have realized that I don’t just beat the odds, sometimes I become the odds – the exception that lifts a middle finger to the rule.

 What once seemed so improbable is now the reality I am living. It is hard now to think that anything ever is truly unattainable.

*Copyright 2011

All my Quotes are original. Please acknowledge this website when or if you decide to use them: www.itsdeltasays.wordpress.com or ‘Like’ the Blog’s page titled ItsDelta’s Blog on Facebook.

 

 

Thoughts on opinions and things like that

Irreverence and idealism are a luxury of the young.

Expressing an opinion is the audacious act of permitting one’s thoughts to walk around in stark nudity.

Our beliefs are pliable but popular opinion is the starch that keeps them unyielding.

Exclusive veracity cannot be contained in the opinion of any one person in as much as it cannot be possessed by any group of persons.

People who disagree with your opinions force you to test the substance of your beliefs by making it necessary for you to choose what you will defend and what you will repudiate.

The entirety of truth is never the preserve of any one person because what we know and believe is circumscribed by the uniqueness of our lived experience.

Writing allows me to demonstrate the universality of suffering, of heartache and pain – as well as to demonstrate the resilience that makes us overcomers in the face of adversity.

Sometimes we never know what we are capable of achieving or what we are capable of enduring until we know what others have achieved, endured and triumphed over.

Our lives are pilgrimages and we cannot stay in one place too long lest we miss out on all the destinations that fate has mapped out for us.

*Copyright 2011

All my Quotes are original. Please acknowledge this website when or if you decide to use them: www.itsdeltasays.wordpress.com or ‘Like’ the Blog’s page titled ItsDelta’s Blog on Facebook.

…idle musings on success

No one is as surprised as we are by the success we make of our lives because no one knows better than we do how improbable it all once was.

We never want to let go of certain people because we’re convinced they are going places, and if we stick to them, they’ll take us along – problem is most people have no destination in mind so they go everywhere but get nowhere.

There are very few things we cannot do by ourselves; most of us would take risks but we’d rather have the security of failing as a pair or a group than facing the prospect of failure alone.

Blame is a burden no one wants to carry alone; that’s why we insist on needing someone in case we need an alibi for when things go horribly wrong.

There’s a thin line between being dependent and being parasitic.

Envy is one of the most ridiculous emotions to entertain because envy derives from drawing comparisons between yourself and others.

Contrasts are better motivators than comparisons so value your uniqueness; appreciate what sets you apart and celebrate your individuality.

Life is about fulfillment. Fulfillment is about being able to do what enriches you the most, what you know best, what you love the most and making use of your God given talents.

Be better than yourself. Trying to be better than others is setting your aspirations too low. Most people often settle for mediocrity.

The definition of success is being a little better today than you were yesterday because it is the small changes that lead to great transformations.

*Copyright 2011

All my Quotes are original. Please acknowledge this website when or if you decide to use them: www.itsdeltasays.wordpress.com or ‘Like’ the Blog’s page titled ItsDelta’s Blog on Facebook.

…thoughts on socialization, culture & the ties that bind…

Why did these women stay? We asked ourselves at the time but the answer is one we only uncovered now as we came of age ourselves – they couldn’t act in manner contrary to what they had been socialized into.

We were raised to understand that a man endures pain as an undeserved punishment; but a woman accepts it as a natural heritage; so we became feminists in order to reject the natural heritage of pain.

One consequence of feminism has been that it has challenged the idea of male supremacy upon which patriarchy has rested for centuries. What really makes a man better than a woman? Men are just people too.

When someone asked me recently whether I thought women could ever be equal to men, I told him that I didn’t think that women could ever be equal to men. I told him that as far as I was concerned women have always been equal to men – we were merely socialized to think otherwise.

For African peoples, culture is the supreme authority governing how members of a society conduct themselves and what they ought to revere.

The status quo largely goes unchallenged and women invariably model themselves against their predecessors; having internalized the deeply embedded cultural values of subservience that inform their world view, perceptions of self and notions of identity.

In a time of HIV, women’s vulnerability is exacerbated by their inability to confront and challenge social norms – norms that are so deeply ingrained in them that they have become second nature

Seeking to arrest the spread of HIV without interrogating the power dynamics that play out between men and women in relationships and as they interact in society as a whole would be an exercise in futility.

To examine the assumptions that have been taken for granted about the natural place of women as subordinates to their male counterparts requires us to acknowledge that our culture is neither perfect nor infallible – an admission that rigid traditionalists are reluctant to make.

Culture has for a long time, benefited from the assumption that it is cast in stone, immutable and therefore sacrosanct. We are persuaded that we have no option but to conform because any deviation from the norm would constitute a form of sacrilege.

For what keeps the married abused woman from walking out of the door even when she has the means to fend for herself – is the invisible chain of conformity; she is trained from childbirth to believe that marriage defines her and that without it, she is diminished.

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